Grootouders en de strijd met Bureau Jeugdzorg

http://thejourneyneverends.wordpress.com/2013/08/10/fighting-in-silence-dealing-with-bjz-and-being-unable-to-decipher-documents-because-you-do-not-speak-the-language/

http://thejourneyneverends.wordpress.com/2013/08/09/the-dirty-hands-of-greed-reaches-out-globally-in-the-name-of-child-protection/

In het belang van de kinderen?  

Wat gebeurt er als je volledig vertrouwen hebt in een systeem dat bedrog, wantrouwen stimuleert, en manipulatie van de feiten? Dat is wat er met ons is gebeurd. We geloofden de woorden van Jeugdzorg, maar Child Protective Services in de VS, Verenigd Koninkrijk en nu in Nederland gebruiken "in het belang van het kind" om kinderen uit huis te plaatsen om aan quota te voldoen. Ze ontvangen subsidies van de overheid. Het is niet "voor het welzijn van de kinderen", het is "voor het welzijn van hun zakken".  

Ons verhaal 

We zorgen sinds 2002 al voor de kinderen. In 2007 werden we pleegouders van onze biologische kleinkinderen en in 2008 hebben we de kinderen in de USA wettelijk geadopteerd. In 2008 emigreerden we naar Nederland. In de hoop een nieuw leven te beginnen. 

Alles was goed en wel, maar we kregen problemen met de financiën en mijn zoon kreeg de diagnose MS. Door de stress in ons leven besloten wij Bureau Jeugdzorg Gelderland te benaderen voor hulp en ondersteuning.  

We gingen naar gezinsbegeleiding evenals begeleiding voor onze kleinkinderen, omdat ze nog steeds te maken hadden met het trauma dat ze hadden opgelopen toen ze jong waren. We vroegen om weekendouders.

Dit gebeurde en tot zover verliep alles redelijk. In 2010 vroegen we de weekendpleegouders om pleegouders te worden en wij wilden de kinderen ieder weekend bij ons laten logeren. Mijn man had kanker gekregen en wij wilden dat de kinderen de volledige aandacht en zorg kregen die ze nodig hadden. BJz vertelde ons dat het het beste zou zijn, als we de kleinkinderen slechts één keer per drie weken zouden zien.

Er ontstonden tal van problemen tussen de pleegouders en ons. Het leek een controlekwestie. We werden in rapporten beschreven als niet-coöperatief. We kregen plotseling overal de schuld van. Tijdens eerdere bezoeken was er nooit  toezicht.  Er was namelijk geen enkele bedreiging voor de veiligheid van onze kleinkinderen.

     

Wij hadden vele dierbare momenten samen. Soms vroegen onze kleinkinderen: “Wanneer zullen we weer samen zijn?” 

Flash forward 
  

15 mei 2013. De pleegouders wilden niet meer voor onze kleinkinderen zorgen en BJZ  wilde ze plaatsen in een ander pleeggezin. We gingen in overdrive en besloten onze (klein)kinderen terug te nemen en te emigreren naar Frankrijk. We hebben alles geregeld om in Frankrijk te gaan wonen, school, therapie, goede begeleiding. We hebben vrienden in Frankrijk die ons met veel liefde steun geven.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/benildaberetta/

BJZ vond dit niet in het belang van de kinderen. Een van de redenen die ze noemden, is dat we op leeftijd zijn en mijn man vorig jaar gediagnosticeerd was met kanker (hij is nu genezen). Een andere reden is dat we moeten voorzien in een pedagogisch klimaat voor de kinderen. We zijn legaal goedgekeurd in de  Verenigde  om de kinderen te adopteren. Bjz wil de kinderen in een instelling of bij andere pleegouders plaatsen. 

Statistisch gezien hebben kinderen die meerdere keren worden geplaatst niet een eerlijke kans in het leven. We willen niet dat dit met onze kleinkinderen gebeurt.  

BJZ heeft onze kracht en vasthoudendheid onderschat, want ik zal vechten voor mijn kleinkinderen. In de Verenigde Staten worden kinderen geplaatst bij de familie, dat is het eerste waar ze naar kijken. Onze leeftijd is hier in Nederland blijkbaar een vloek.  

We zijn op zoek naar juridische hulp. De afgelopen twee maanden hebben we geprobeerd van alles te regelen en tot een oplossing te komen. Ik kan niet meer zwijgen. De rechten van onze kinderen zijn onze grootste zorg.  

Achteraf zou ik BJZ niet zoveel hebben verteld. Ik kan mijzelf wel voor mijn kop slaan, dat ik zo openhartig ben geweest. Omdat ze elk woord tegen je gebruiken. We vechten met heel ons hart en al onze kracht.  

BJZ doet illegale en inhumane dingen. Ze schenden de rechten van het gezin, door kinderen met leugens weg te halen. We mogen onze kleinkinderen nu niet meer zien totdat het onderzoek van Raad voor de Kinderbescherming  klaar is.  
 

Ik hoor veel horrorverhalen over jeugdzorg en ik ben sprakeloos over wat er gebeurt. Ik beloofde de kinderen  dat we samen zullen zijn en ik ben van plan om te blijven vechten, zelfs als ik naar het Europees Hof moet om de strijd aan te gaan voor onze ouderlijke rechten. 

Belangrijk om te weten: Er is géén OTS of UHP!

https://www.facebook.com/HelpTheBerettas

Benilda en Paolo Beretta

Update: juli 2014

You know what hurts more? Paolo is ill and fragile and cannot travel. The children are not allowed to visit France. He has raised Gina and George. However, the foster parent's parents, who get ill or in the hospital, the children get to see them. But when Paolo was in the hospital after surgery, the social worker didn't think it was a good idea. We talk to lawyer on Thursday, Mr. Erkens. He has been studying our case, and will represent us in appeal. It is a travesty what these people do. It's criminal and it is an emotional and psychological abuse towards the children.

Benilda Beretta

6 juli 2014

Het gaat niet goed met Paolo,

Hij is in het ziekenhuis opgenomen,door de uitspraak van het hoger beroep heeft hij een grote klap gekregen. Al hun hoop was hier op gevestigd en gaf Paolo kracht door te vechten tegen zijn ziekte. Als de pleegouders ergens nog iets fatsoen in hun donder hebben gaan ze naar Frankrijk toe met de kinderen zodat Paolo zijn klein/kinderen nog kan zien!

7 juli 2014 

Dear Ranada and Sven,

We received the courts rejection of our appeal on Friday. Paolo became upset, something that should not happen. On Saturday his blood pressure went to 60/40. If the nurse didn't come when she did he would have died right then and there. It was serious, and the doctor said the cancer is aggressive. So his son, his wife and his grandson drove all night in order to make sure to see him. When Paolo saw them he cried. And he can't see Gina and George? They are inhuman. I don't know how long he has, but his moral is low and it is criminal. 

Benilda

7 juli 2014

Paolo's Son, his wife, and his grandson drove all night to be with Paolo. Paolo was so happy to be able to give his grandchild a big hug. Now if George and Gina would be here too would mean a lot to us.

 

 

Arnold Heertje over Jeugdzorg

7 juli 2014 

http://schepperencoradio.ncrv.nl/

Update 11 juli 2014 

Antwoord van Jeugdzorg:

Hello Benilda,

I spoke to the fosterparents about the following subject: The foster parents are receiving al lot of mails from you, also about things that doesn’t occur to them. Because we think it is important that the foster parents can put their attention mainly to taking care of George en Gina, we come to the conclusion that it is wiser that from now on all mail contact will be through me or Bonnie Olthof from Bureau Jeugdzorg.

That means that we ask you not to send mails again to the fosterparents, also not putting them CC to a mail. You can have contact by phone on Sunday by 19.00 with Gina and on Thursday by 19.00 with George. The foster parent will make sure that they are available by phone at those times. Met vriendelijke groet, Jeanette Oyewole Lindenhout Regio Achterhoek Team 12+ Tel:0544-474140

Reactie van Benilda op antwoord van Jeugdzorg:  No mention of condolences or thoughts with us at this time. this is what I said: If, they don't have compassion to reach out and send their condolences to me, then how are they going to teach the children about compassion? Time and time again I have given our number at home, so in cases like these the children can tell Pakebeer that they are thinking of him and love him. Don't let their anger to Paolo cloud their judgement and pass it to the children.

My family in the United States and friends are amazed that there cannot be a special exception to let the children visit even if it is only three hours. And then today I call George and he was like a robot. He did not ask about Paolo. I said I didn't call on Sunday because my phone doesn't do long range from France, and I went home to pack a few things and I could call from my house phone.

He talked about a party he was going to, camping in the weekend. So I said I won't talk for long because I am sad that Paolo is very sick and I am packing clothes to be with him at the hospital. Still nothing. I just couldn't talk anymore, and I said it was not sure I could talk to him again on Sunday because I might still be in the hospital.

Paolo is in hospital in Toulouse

His condition is critical, but you know Paolo, he doesn't go down without a fight. Here is his son Max Beretta and Marijn Beretta spending time with Paolo. It gave a Paolo a big boost and he was very happy to be with them. I am so glad. I only wish Gina and George can do the same before it is too late. Gina and George lost their mother last year, and now maybe their grandfather and still no sign that BJZ will let the children see Pakebeer. This is a sad day. I was so happy to spend time with Paolo's son, Monique Reinders, and his grandson. It brought a smile on our faces. 

Update: 

28 juli 2014

http://thejourneyneverends.wordpress.com/2014/07/27/open-letter-to-the-bjz-lindehout-and-the-judges-who-have-impacted-our-family-life/

July 28, 2014

Letter to:

I.G.M.Th Weijers-van der Marck (July 25, 2014)
R. Warrior. A. Smeeing-van Hees and
P.M.M. Mostermans, (July 4, 2014)
C.M.J. Peters, L.J.P. Lambooij, A.L.M. Steinebach-de Wit, Zutphen (November 21, 2013)

Make no mistake all the judges that have given a verdict without doing a thorough objective analysis of the data from all sides, as well as for the results gleaned by the organizations that were contracted by BJZ have violated our Parental rights, the rights of our children, and our right to be given due process under the Human Rights Articles. What we are also forgetting because of the verdict and OTS, the factor of time to be away from their rightful parents was compromised by the lack of due process, which prevented the reunification of our family. 

The results from November 21, 2013 created a ripple effect, with the same information and lack of substantiated evidenced following all the way to our request for a two week summer vacation with the children, which was denied because of the previous verdict, which I feel did not protect our due process. Our evidence was not even considered, and because of the language barrier, they refused to listen to tapes or videos because it was in English.

Let’s begin with the first hearing, October 17, 2013: C.M.J. Peters, L.J.P. Lambooij, A.L.M. Steinbach-de Wit decision for an OTS stated that I agreed with this. The whole purpose of the hearing was to a) make sure our voices would be heard, b) to get my children back, and c) dispute the results from BJZ and Lindenhout since they were unsubstantiated, and we were not interviewed by a psychologist as well as the fact that we were not observed on our interaction with our children. Another argument brought up by the judges was that we did not want mediation. 

That was furthest from the truth because if they had talked to the mediator, they would know that my husband went to mediation, but BJZ and Lindenhout decided to cancel because I was ill. My husband spent an hour talking to the mediator, and nothing was mentioned in any of their reports. This again shows how information was manipulated or omitted against our favor. What was also very interesting is how the judges were given a letter from my granddaughter stating that she wanted to remain in the Netherlands. 

The letter was assisted by Lindenhout and not carried out by an objective intermediary. Since we are the legal parents, we should have been included in the process as stated in the human rights courts, but we were not. Also, if we want the truth, I firmly believe that my granddaughter should have been asked in person by the judge and witnessed by another objective observer. 

Again, the actions of BJZ and Lindenhout were given total control of the situation. BJZ have stated over and over again that my granddaughter does not have the maturity to make decisions, and that her social IQ is of a three year old. Then why, I ask you did the judges accept the words of a child who “is not mature enough”. It can’t go both ways when it suits BJZ to make sure my child stays in OTS, it then states that my child wants to live in the NL, but in other matters, such as texting with us, skyping with us, or facebooking with us, she is not old enough to either a) understand and b) converse with us.

Appeal Hearing, May 15, 2014, R. Warrior. A. Smeeing-van Hees and
P.M.M. Mostermans, Arnhem:

The appeal hearing was a rehash of the hearing of October 17, 2013, except for the fact that my husband has terminal cancer, and how were we going to manage. The judges also stated that since the children were with the foster family since 2010, that they have stability. Again, the same letter from my granddaughter was given to the judges. The main focus was on our ability to raise our children. BJZ and Lindenhout have time and time again stated that we are not capable, but no hard evidence, no investigated was ever done to prove otherwise. We asked the court for a research, and it was denied. Another violation of our due process since there was no effort to make sure our appeal and BJZ’s allegations were true. 

We asked for the research because we know that we are capable parents. If the hearing of October 17, 2013, had resulted in us taking care of the children, there would be no time lost for reunification, as well as returning the children to a family that they grew up with. A family that is capable of giving them a stable life, a safe life, a life not afraid of saying the wrong thing when we have conversations on the phone. I had the opportunity to visit with my grandchildren the week of May 12, 2014, and both BJZ and Lindenhout cannot say that the children are unhappy to be with us or feel unsafe with us. On the contrary, they wanted to spend more time with us. My husband could not travel because he was homebound, and he had not seen the children in a year. My husband has been undergoing chemotherapy in Toulouse, France and as a result cannot make the journey to the Netherlands. Also, since I am the caregiver, I can’t get away to visit the children in the Netherlands either. 

When my husband was critical, BJZ finally gave permission for the children to see their grandfather in France. The hospital staff was so happy for us and they could see the love we had for each other. I avoided any mention of France, and my grandson brought up the fact that France is nice. We had petition for the children to spend two weeks with us on vacation, but again it was denied, and again based on our unproven and unsubstantial ability to care for the children. Since the OTS, BJZ, Lindenhout, and the foster parents have systematically alienated us from our children. First, we could not Skype with the children; second, we were not allowed to contact the children directly. We are the legal parents and BJZ or Lindenhout only contacts us when they need our signature, and if we question or disagree, they threatened to go to the judge. We have tried to build trust when I was in the Netherlands in May, but after the visit in the hospital with my husband, we were informed that the foster parents did not want any contact with us. How can you say that is building trust? The children are intelligent. They know that something is wrong and we can’t even have a civil conversation.

I was told repeatedly by many people not to put our hopes up because whenever BJZ is in court they always seem to win. I was brought up to trust people and to believe people would do the right thing. But I just had a rude awakening especially where BJZ is concerned. I do not know Dutch and my husband is ill, so the Google translation was, at best, sketchy. It pains me when I hear my children on the phone and see how strained they are to be themselves because they are being monitored, it makes us ill that they have to go through this. 

Children are not being told anything, in order to make an informed decision. BJZ has isolated my children and they are being programmed. As time goes on, we see that they are drifting away, that George is losing his Mother tongue. That their cultural and ethnic background is slowly being erased, and that is a great tragedy. If we didn’t care about them, we would not fight as hard as we are fighting, and people have said that I was tenacious, and now I know I am because I will continue fighting. Somewhere in this universe there must be people who want to know the truth, who really want what is best for the children, who believe in integrity, honesty, and respect. Why is it that we initiate all the calls to our children? Why is it that we were refrained from talking on Skype? Why is it the children have to lie to say they don’t have Facebook, when they do? What kind of role model and education they are giving my children?

I.G.M.Th Weijers-van der Marck, Zutphen (July 25, 2014): Vacation Request submitted on July 17, 2014 was denied: When I was with the children they were very careful to not get me in trouble. However, they did express a wish to spend time with me on holiday. Apparently, the judge did receive another letter from my granddaughter, but the contents of said letter were not disclosed. It was disclosed in the previous hearings, so why not at this one? I, as the legal parent, have a God given right to know. Because in spending time with my grandchildren, it did not look like they were oppose to spend two weeks with us.

In conclusion, I am disappointed at the judicial system that oversees family law cases, particularly our case, which is complicated because there were mitigating factors that were not taken into account. I am tenacious and unyielding in my advocacy for the welfare of my children. After recording our telephone conversations for the last year with my grandchildren it is evident that they are fearful to be themselves with us. It was only after we met in hospital to visit grandpa, did they feel happy, relaxed, and the Sunday following our visit, it was a good conversation filled with laughter and they were relaxed. 

However, on July 24, 2014 when speaking with my grandson, he was restrained, cautious, and non-verbal. What happened between our visit and July 24, 2014 that made him cautious? Lindenhout said do not mention France because he is confused. Maybe if BJZ and Lindenhout would have made a gesture of trust for all concern, and would have allowed the children to visit, then perhaps we could have opened the doors to a better understanding. It was not me who initiated the no communication between the foster parents and us. So where is the building of trust? Apparently, it is not in the cards. So I state here from the bottom of my heart that I will continue to pursue justice even if it takes awhile. 

What people don’t realize is that family bond is unbreakable. I hold BJZ, Lindenhout, and the foster parents responsible for the emotional, psychological well being of my children. If they stand by their decisions, then they should be able to allow me to call out the names of people that have our future as a family at stake. If anything happens to my children under their care, I will make sure that they are held accountable.

Respectfully,

Benilda and Paolo Beretta